the Holidays.

The holidays are here..ohh myy. I dont know, it still feels like summer to me so I dont really feel too Holiday-ish. Plus jus been working working working these past couple days as well so that threw me off.

Everyday at work has been a learning experience. & what I thought was such an easy job, I have found isnt as easy as I thought..but hey, what do you expect out of nursing right? I wasnt comfortable when I first started, when through all those feelings of being a "new girl," not knowing where anything is or how anything works. But everyday has been slowly getting better, thank the Lord. I am learning the right way to deal with patients and families here, which is so much different oddly enough. What my manager told me is a lot of mainlanders unintentionally come off as "snobby" if you dont have "Aloha spirit." At first I was like huh??! but dealing with more families and patients, I know what she means. It is really a culture shock working here!! But other than that, my coworkers are all very cool for the most part..happy about that:)

hmm, Been missing home more than lately recently. It sometimes come to the point where sometimes I wondered if I could be happier here, or if I made the wrong decision in moving here. The biggest thing affecting me is not having my family around after having them around and so close to me for my whole life. I think about Inang a lot and always wonder how she's doing, and feel so happy everytime I talk to her on the phone; about my sisters and how I dont know whats 'cool' anymore cuz they knew all the new trends in fashion/music; about my Mom/Dad & how they are doing.... but I have realized that it's mostly because the holidays are around. Holidays are a time mostly for family for me...so I am so happy to be going home next week. I also know that if God didnt want for this to happen, it wouldnt have happened. The move here aligned so perfectly for all of us, I cant help but believe there is reason to me/us living here.

So I have decided to go home enjoy myself and everything I miss about San Diego, and come back to Hawaii refreshed and in a newer, fresh state of mind. A mindset where I know I am here to grow as a person..diversify myself..grow up. I want to hang out with people I wouldnt normally feel comfortable hanging out with, expose myself to the culture here, do things I have never done. I guess I was coming to the point here where I was getting into my own comfort 'bubble' again over here...which defeated the whole purpose of me coming here. I was always hanging out with the same people, turning down invitations from coworkers, getting into a routine of work and 'whatever'...always comparing how "i had so much friends at home and now I have only a handful" haha...pretty much not taking control of making the best of my situation. Because ultimately it is up to ME how this whole experience turns out!!

So all this is a result of a looott of self-reflection on my one hour commutes to and from work stuck in traffic!! Don't get me wrong, I am still having lots of fun/learning a lot over here....but I just know that there is so much more potential in this experience:) I know the first couple months is like a big speed bump, but I am very optimistic that things will only get better. It's funny..I always thought I was mentally stronger but I feel Im probably having the hardest time of my roommates..but it's nothing a big one week dose of HOME cannot fiX!

See you soon=) chhheeeeeeeee-hooo! haha.