gut feelings

Last night I had one if those feelings that something wasn't right with my patient. I remember the last time I felt this way, something really wasn't right and my patient ended up coding and died. So when I felt the kick in my stomach again, I was like "oh! I can't ignore it this time." Just glancing at my patient at start of shift, he looked fine. Blood pressure, alright. Oxygen level, good. A little swollen yes, but he was getting dialysis first thing in the morning. He's talking, actually getting up to the bathroom and inask him how he feels he says "I'm okay jus feeling a little weak." (kick,kickin in my stomach)

3 hrs later, knocked out, snoring. Vital signs all the same. Wake him up a lil cuz I'm
scared haha, And I ask him if he's ok cuz he's snoring louder than usual. He says " yea, kinda having a hard time breathing, can put my head up?" so I do, his oxygen levels perfect but I'm happy cuz I've been looking for a reason to call the doctor!!! it's sucks when you don't know exactly what your gonna say to the doctor in the middle of the night. This is the one of the reasons I don't like night shift--you have to hesitate before calling the doctor. But I call him anyways, tell him the pt is having a hard time breathing. He asks what the o2 sat was, I say 99 (haha), he doesn't think there's a problem (kick kick in my stomach) dammit.

I ask my coworkers to look at him, but nobody really thinks he looks to bad. So I'm like ok, fine--let it go. Then 2 hrs later his BP drops to the 80s. I turn off all the drips that affect his BP...wait an hour to see if it will come up but it never does. Pt still looks the same, jus a lower bp but he feels fine still jus a lil short of breath. i do an EKG--looks the same In comparison. So I calls the dr again. He dismisses my call "oh no that bp is fine, he's been in that range before" he's getting kinda irritated I keep calling him, and I am getting more and more nervous-jus overwhelmed with the feeling that it wasn't right.

Coworkers still think he looks okay, there's sicker patients on the floor. So finally 2 hrs later he's like I'm sorry to bother you but I am just feeling really weak, like I can drink a whole carton of lemon Gatorade & he laughs. His breathing seems more labored but still ok oxygen levels & his lungs sounding a lil noisy. I can't put my finger on what's wrong, but i wanna call the doctor again! hah, for about 20 minutes I was like should I call him? Or no?he was one of those docs who are just asses bc they are. Most cardiologists there are. But i decided fuuuck it, if he yells at me fuuuuck it...gotta cover my ass tho. haha so I call him--with no real point to make to him but just telling him everything I am seeing and assessing with the patient. The doctor decides he's gonna come in--3 am.

Now I'm scared, lol. What if the patients okay and I made the doctor come this early, he's gonna kill me!!!! I started a drip the dr orders to get my patients heart pumpin, his blood pressure went up & he said he could breathe better. I'm like ohhh shit, and the doctors coming! Almost like I wanted him to tell me he felt bad, lol. The doctor came and the patient looks fine!! so I bustbout my charts and show him the vital signs before the drip was started, so te doctor takes him for a study while he's there. Lo and and behold!!!--- the patients previous heart attack had extended all over the inferior part of his heart...!

He came back to my unit with like 8 drips to sustain his bp, a mask to push oxygen, a new dialysis catheter for crrt, a balloon pu
p in his heart. Pretty much so sick, that they had to send another nurse to come help take over because I have not been trained with all those machines he was connected to. The doctor went up to me and grabbed my name badge and said "maricel, you did a good job. Thank you for being persistent in calling me" & began showing me what happened.......finally, the feeling in my stomach went away.

Sorry for the nurse talk...but aside, I came home thinking where the hell do we get those gut feelings from? Who tells us something isn't right..who puts that idea in our heads?! Not just at work it happens, but in life. so my lesson for the day us to trust that gut feeling, cuz most of the time it's right.

WOWIE MAUI :)

This is going to sound crazy, but I'm going to Maui! October 26-November 2. So far, the officials are jus me, tess, AJ, and Daze. The pendings are Jamie, Matt, and Philbert. And I extend a warm invite to YOU all! Please come!! It will be a lot of fun:) I was kind of hesitant cuz it's halloween weekend, but to my surprise, it is actually a huge deal over there; they call it Halloween in Lahaina. aka Mardi Gras of the Pacific. soooooo, yay!

I am DYING to get out of here. Everything I do now is so old to me..kinda like Ive grown tooo big for my bubble. I cant shake the feeling off either!! I block all my days of work so I can have 4-5 days to just go somewhere...anywhere. Even a little road trip makes me happy. Haha I spend so much money on plane tickets, I might as well just leave! haha. I DONT save my money living at home either! The only thing that stops me from going anywhere is that I dont have enough ICU experience, and I dont want to travel as a med/surg nurse. But if I have to, I will. I just want that experience of moving out, living somewhere else, having the time of my life, and then coming home once I get it all out my system, back to San Diego!

Anyways, sorry. this is all i talk about...cuz really it's all i think about! its pretty bad. I wish I can win the lotto and just do whatever I want, or marry someone rich and do whatever i want.

because of night shift, it is now 8am and i havent slept. crazy crazy crazy.......PnAySoCrZy---my old SN :) cant sleep, bored.

more random thoughts:
-im dying to go to that road runner store to find shoes so my knees dont hurt
-i better get my ass back to the gym
-what should i do for my birthday
-what should i be for halloween?
-i wish I didnt crack my iphone screen
-i like my new bedsheets
-im glad its not hot anymore
-me and philbert sat with ruths family at church!
-happpppy birthday INANG! i miss her
-i miss my family in VA
-hope grace doesnt deliver while Im gone!
-i need new clothes
-i dont want winter to come
-i love reef slippers
-soo not looking forward to three days of work this wknd
-will anyone even read allmy random thoughts??????????????????????

your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change

--fortune at Asian Bisto.


so I'm back at work, 1st night of three. Oh boy. Apparently JCAHO surveyors are coming soon, & it's a huge deal..so everything must be textbook perfect, I wish I wasn't working!!

Anyways, when I'm done with three..I'll be heading to Virginia for 5days. Not too much excitement, but should be relaxing. I plan on going to the beach, shopping, washington DC, and shopping. Oh!! & baptism of course! this will probably be a vacation of nonDrinking as well since I'm going with Lynn and she's underage...& my cousins are jus not my age group! I also googles things to do in VA...and found there are golf courses!! lots and lots of golf courses!! hahaa, woohoo! but in any case, I'm hoping this trip will be a little fix for my boredom here in SD. yup, still borred..or more like, wishing for something new!

on Saturday I spent the day with my sisters & Ate Fe going wedding dress shopping!!! :) how fun it is! I can't believe we didn't get to share thi experience with my older sister when she got married! We ended up finding te EXACT dress she cut out of a magazine!! $1600!! I'm so happy for her!!

ok, guess I'll see ya weds for dinner!!